Just a thought 6/3/08

[God] makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
[God] breaks the bow, and shatters the spear;
[God] burns the shields with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God!
I am exalted among the nations,
I am exalted in the earth."

-Psalm 46:9-10

That little tiny sentence right in the middle of all that is one of my favorites, in some senses. But in other senses, it bothers me immensely. "Be still and know that I am God!" It sounds so simple to talk about. It looks great all written out. It sounds as if it ought to be easy.

But it's not. I think the more I try to "Let Go and Let God" the harder I find it. And even as I draw on my (admittedly rusty) knowledge of hebrew and am reminded that this literally reads "Cease striving and notice that I am God", I still find myself wondering where the solace is in this passage-- in real terms. Cease striving? Please! This whole life is made up of struggle and strife. But as I ponder it, I wonder if maybe the passage really means "Quit floundering about. Quit trying to make things happen in your way, on your time. Relax. God, who is so much bigger than any problem or any particular time frame, has it."

Perhaps I find this passage a little irritating because for a control freak like me, this seems like some pie in the sky dream. "Relax! Just go with the flow!" (Anyone who says these things to me probably doesn't know me well.) But just as I get irritated with the writer of this Psalm, I am reminded of a promise for people such as me--that comes from a completely differernt part of the Bible. It says, "If you decide for God, living a life of GOd-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomahc, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds." (Matthew 6:25, The Message)

Just a thought...

Ok, I've been getting these daily scripture verse emails (which yes, I signed up for even though my inbox is already way crowded) and I've been trying to figure out what I want to do with them. I think I'm going to try an experiment and see what it's like to blog about them as my schedule allows, both as sort of a written devotional time for me and as getting into the discipline of writing. Some days may be longer than others. Some days just may not happen. We'll see. At any rate, I'd like to invite you into my thoughts about these things which keep shouting "Read Me! Read Me!" from my inbox.

3I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't. Romans 12:3-5

Alright, I read this in a couple other translations and they just didn't hit home as hard. The first thing that comes to my mind is from verse three "It's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God...the only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what God does for us." We don't make God look good when we do good, rather people look at us and say "God must surely dwell in them" when we live well and rightly.
And too, some time long ago, I heard an adage that says, "God made man in his image, and man has been returning the favor ever since." I could go into all sorts of complicated theological jargon about the economic/immanent trinity, but the fact of the matter is that God isn't good because we think God is good. Rather it's that because God
is good, we dare to dream about the goodness of God.

Do your work, Mind your business

"Young man, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been half out of our minds looking for you". And Jesus said, "Why were you looking for me? Didn't you know that I had to be here, being about the business of my Father?" (Luke 2:48-49)

Last friday, on a very wet day, I went to the graduation of a few of our 8th graders. Can I tell you that I was beaming every bit as broadly as any parent there (a reaction that I certainly didn't anticipate!) I was just bursting with pride and joy that "my" children had made it through the eigth grade, despite lots of things working against them.

But I've also got to say that I was at least a little bit fascintated by the things the guest speaker said. He quoted Winston Churchill's now famous "Never, never, never give up." Then he said his speech could be summed up in a few words even shorter than that. He said "Do your work. Mind your Business". (Ok, so mathematically, its not shorter, but kind o' cool, nonetheless.) And unlike Mr. Churchill, he didn't just sit back down. He went on to explain if you were doing your work and minding your business that you didn't have time for much else. No time for games, no time for drama. And all this because you were "about" something.

I'm always on the lookout for things that happen in everyday life that I can ponder theologically. (Hmmm...who knew. I've long been a preacher, but somewhere is a theologian too...) And so, I've been pondering what this man was saying-- and my conclusion is that might as well have come from a preacher.

"Do your work, Mind your business"...that sounds like a combination of Jesus and Paul to me. But here's the kicker: It's not our business and our work that we are to be about. It's the business of the Father. It's the business of loving people as much as we love ourselves. It's the business of turning the other cheek. And it's the business of being a radical clear voice and breath of fresh air to those who need it most.

Do you work? Mind your business? Indeed, but whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, let it be for the glory of God.

Now that could have been a graduation speech.

Have You Seen Jesus My Lord?

The other day I spoke to the Auxillary, and because people are always asking about my job and the ways I've been surprised by Christ sneaking into my world, I thought I'd post part of what I said to them. Ellen set the theme using a few picnic baskets, and told the story of the Loaves and the Fishes.

One of my first memories involves a picnic blanket I still use, almost two decades later. I remember being at a church retreat at our denomination's camp, and two men, who would later become my youth leaders, were singing a song called "Have you seen Jesus my Lord." I remember being by the lake, flopped on my belly, watching the Sunset. It was a holy time. The only problem was that the song didn't make much sense to me. Its chorus says this, "Have you seen Jesus my Lord? He's here in plain view. Take a look, open your eyes, he'll show it to you." Ok, fine. I got that part. But when it came to one of the verses that said, "Have you ever stood in the family, with the Lord there in your midst; seen the face of Christ on each other? Then I say, You've seen Jesus my Lord". As a four year old, I looked around at all those people who had helped raise me and thought "Dude, I don't know what you're talking about... that's mom and dad, and joe, and greg, and jonathan, and Amy. Jesus isn't on their faces!"

And now here I am, still pondering that song. But now, I can understand the song, and know that I have had the opportunity to see Jesus in some really strange places.

I've seen Jesus covered in flour as we made Christmas cookies, a first experience for several of our youth.

I've seen Jesus wade through the destruction caused by a fire.

I've seen Jesus in the members of the community, as they've prayed for us, and given to us.

I've seen Jesus in a prom dress.

I've seen Jesus in a group of teenagers who do everything they can, often including rearranging their work schedules, to be at a Bible Study.

I've seen Jesus in a young woman (who might want my job?), who kicked me out of the pulpit so that she could preach and lead worship.

I've seen Jesus in a group of Student Council kids who really found out what it meant to be a leader, when they had the opportunity to serve at the Christmas banquet. I've seen Jesus dripping with sweat and smiling through exhaustion.

I've seen Jesus on a day when I was parading around in a Jester's hat. Jesus came to the Fat Tuesday pancake lunch, and I heard him laughing.

I've seen Jesus worshipping and clapping and learning to play the djembee in the chapel.

I've seen Jesus stand in front of the altar, and in the purest voice you've ever heard, sing Silent Night.

I've seen Jesus early Easter morning, as a parter and I went out to spread the news of "He is Risen" in chalk.

And I've even seen Jesus, coloring and playing with Mr. Potato Head in my office.


As I think back to the little blond headed girl, laying on her picnic blanket, pondering the words of what seemed to her, a very strange song, I think I'd tell her: I've seen Jesus my Lord! Indeed. He's here in plain view!"

Reverend Finger Paint

Last night at Da Spot, we did a just for fun activity called "Reverend Finger Paint". They had three minutes to draw their best portrait of me...using Finger paints. Please come check them out on my door--and Vote! I promised the winner a prize next week, so your vote would be greatly appreciated!

Too Busy?

The Story of the Dinner Party
15That triggered a response from one of the guests: "How fortunate the one who gets to eat dinner in God's kingdom!" 16-17Jesus followed up. "Yes. For there was once a man who threw a great dinner party and invited many. When it was time for dinner, he sent out his servant to the invited guests, saying, 'Come on in; the food's on the table.' 18"Then they all began to beg off, one after another making excuses. The first said, 'I bought a piece of property and need to look it over. Send my regrets.'
19"Another said, 'I just bought five teams of oxen, and I really need to check them out. Send my regrets.' 20"And yet another said, 'I just got married and need to get home to my wife.' 21"The servant went back and told the master what had happened. He was outraged and told the servant, 'Quickly, get out into the city streets and alleys. Collect all who look like they need a square meal, all the misfits and homeless and wretched you can lay your hands on, and bring them here.' 22"The servant reported back, 'Master, I did what you commanded— and there's still room.' 23-24"The master said, 'Then go to the country roads. Whoever you find, drag them in. I want my house full! Let me tell you, not one of those originally invited is going to get so much as a bite at my dinner party.'"

Truthfully, I've not spent a whole lot of time pondering this passage. I've just finished reading The Other Boleyn Girl and I know from reading that, that when a King orders a banquet everyone shows up, whether they want to or not. But I guess this particular story doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, because who wouldn't want to come to a big affair to which they've been invited? "Not I, said the Fly" I love to get all dressed up and pretend I'm really somebody.

And so, thinking our young folks would feel the same, I embarked on a big undertaking. I made up my mind that they should have a dinner before prom-- a really nice, formal affair, with four forks instead of one. I went over and talked to them, and they told me what they would like served, and how much fun they thought it would be. And so I spent great amounts of time Thursday, Friday and Saturday making this a phenomenal affair. Finally the time rolls around for the dinner, and I learn that I have just given up my whole weekend to make a very lovely, very expensive dinner...for one! That's right, all those girls who wanted me to do this for them, were too busy. We did, however, have a very lovely night, and the young lady who showed up seems to have had a fabulous time. (She was, afterall, the queen of the dinner). We even called around and invited some other folks in, and perhaps, it was the way it was supposed to be (though certainly not the way the evening looked in my mind's eye.)

Though I was disappointed, I certainly don't fault the girls. I remember what it was like to be so excited and so nervous and so just ready for the dang thing to get here already. But the more I ponder the event, the more I wonder if this is somehow the way God might feel when we put other things before God. I think this strange little passage is saying that God hopes we will come to God's banquet not because we have nothing better to do, but because GOd's banquet is the best of our offers. I think that what this passage is saying is that God wants to be Lord not only of our worst agendas, but even over our best ones.

So....Salty!

Last Week, the lectionary text was that funny little passage that goes something like this: 13"Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.
14-16"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:13-17, The Message)

What a funny text. Seriously, what's so great about salt? I mean, you can cook with it and preserve food with it. You could even put it on snails and watch them melt (not that I know this, of course!). Its chemical formula is NaCl (sodium chloride). And that, my friends, is all I know about salt.

But Jesus challenges us to be salt of the Earth. I love this translation, because it is put in a way that we can understand. "You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth." Hmmm...That I can relate to. When I cook, I know that just a tiny little bit of salt makes all the flavors I'm using come out. Even when I bake a cake from scratch, the recipe always calls for a pinch of salt, which will bring out the sweet flavors.

In chapel last Sunday, I challenged the kids to be salt of the Earth, and we talked about ways we could do that. And, just for kicks, we tried two experiments.
1. The Chain of Love. We discussed that one way we could be salt of the Earth is by either "Paying it Forward" (confused? You MUST see the movie "Pay it Forward"...we watched the clip in Chapel about the teacher challenging his students to change the world)or by making a "Chain of Love". (Like the country song. You know "If you really wanna pay me back, here's what you do. Don't let the chain of love end with you.") And so we started a chain of love with paper links. (Think back to your elementary school days, and making paper chain garlands for your pitiful classroom tree.) I did a random act of kindness from a young lady, and told her that she was to pass it on. I wrote my deed on a paper link, and when they came to church yesterday, I asked the young lady how she passed the chain of love on. And she did. She passed it to another young lady in her cottage, who passed it on to another young lady, and now the young lady will pass it on to others this week. My goal is to have a long chain by Pentecost (May 11), which will surely have a place in the service.

2. A Salt of the Earth Poster. I told the kids that I knew this is the time of year when they are just trying to "make it", but that the scriptures desire more of us. And so I told them that any time they helped show other people what a relationship with Christ is like that I wanted to know about it. And there is a poster on my door, that they're supposed to sign when they behave like salt of the Earth. (In the sense of "You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth"). And lo and behold, I brought the poster to chapel yesterday, and they remembered and told me about the ways that they had helped to care for other people. I told them it was my hope to see that poster positively full by the end of school.

Maybe they'll change the world. It's possible, you know.

Oh, for the love of... Coloring Sheets...?

So, this enormous couch in my office is causing people to want to sit on it. (Which was the idea...) And, fairly typically of what has become a Tuesday pattern, I had several young women come camp out in my office. As we usually do, we talked about a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. And then as usually happens when people notice I have a Mr. Potato Head on my desk (complete with its own "parts suitcase") one of the girls started redoing my decorative spud. I informed the girls, as I usually do, that I am the coolest person they know because I have a Mr. Potato Head on my desk. As they usually do, I think they called me childish or something along those lines. Eager to prove...well, ok... eager to get a rise out of them, I whipped out a pile of coloring sheets and crayons. (Good, complicated coloring sheets, and the good crayons, mais oui!) And suddenly they were so excited, talking about their plans to sit down and color later that night, and how they were going to come put coloring sheets on my door.

Well, hey. Stupendous! But what I thought about after they left is how most of us, if we are honest, really miss at least one or two things about our childhood. For me, I miss playing...and coloring...and swinging! There are no rules against me doing any of these things, but now that I'm a mature 25-and-holding, I just never seem to have time.

But my inner child is calling to be freed. If yours is calling out, stop by... I have tons of coloring sheets. And I'll even bring out the good crayons for you!

My "first" Easter

So... It was my "First" Holy Week, both as a "Mrs." and as a "Reverend". (Two new titles in less than six months...no wonder I'm confused...). I had great plans of being the woman who had it all together. I envisioned a clean house and a nice easter meal after wearing my freshly ironed suit to Church easter morning. I thought I'd made it to all the Holy Week services my church offered, and that I'd cook soup for one of the Lenten Devotionals. And while we're at it, I'd have freshly bathed dogs and my husband would receive a nice Easter basket...cause yeah, I'm that fabulous!o

Ummmm...not so much. (Warning, this isn't an especially theological writing today...but I thought somebody might get a kick out of it.)

I made it through about THursday. I didn't make it to a Maunday Thursday service, but that was ok because I'd do good friday. For good Friday, I made soup, as planned, only instead of having the 8-10 people we'd been having, we had almost 30. When I read the story about JEsus multiplying the Loaves and Fishes, it didn't ever dawn on me that maybe one of the disciples made an emergency Kroger run to get cans of soup. And oh yeah, I totally would have passed the doctored-up French Onion soup off as my own, because I was getting compliments all over the place, but then someone saw the cans.

And then my husband and I attempted to boil the 252 eggs I mentioned earlier. We used the big soup pots and the big stoves, which was a great idea...only neither one of us was tall enough to see over the top of the pots. Yeah, we used a step stool so we could see if the water was boiling.

By then the Good Friday night service was out. I was asleep by 7:15.

And saturday started with me trying to construct a very large styrofoam cross...and wondering if I had gotten a degree in arts and crafts. I was thrilled when it went flying across campus...several times.

I thought I would have time on Saturday to get an Easter basket and Iron my suit. I forgot about both.

But I did get my Easter meal on, right after morning church, thinking we would eat after the UMCH evening chapel service. I put a Ham in the crock pot (setting it for two hours less than the recipe said, knowing that I could put it in the oven if I didn't like the wa it looked.) And I got home, and it was so overcooked, it looked like dog food. So it was-- dog food.

At least the puppy learned "sit" from my Easter Ham...

Up from the grave He arose!

Christ is Risen! He is Risen indeed!

Happy Easter!

Today, a partner in crime and I went chalk grafiti-ing all over campus, sharing messages of "Christ the Lord is Risen today" and "Alleluia" and "Amen". We were out in the early morning. All was quiet, and it was cool...very cool outside. It, strangely, did not seem to be the time for much conversation. BOth of us were just taking in the morning, each of us, I suspect, thinking about the impact of Easter on our lives. We chalked all the cottages that had kids in them.

And then we came to Leigh Cottage-- or the remains of it, anyway. And I'm not sure what came over me, but it seemed like the right thing to do. And so I put messages of "Where, O Death, is your sting? Where your victory?" and "Up from the grave he arose" and "He conquered death, and He lives!". It seemed the fitting thing to do, standing in front of what now seems to be hallowed ground, as hallowed, perhaps, as Arlington or Gettysburg. A piece of our lives that is no more. A place that sheltered so many, and too, watched the coming-of-age of lots of people.

"Where is your sting, O Death"? seems a funny thing to write there. Because it did sting. It still stings when we look at it. But the hope of Easter is that death and destruction don't get the last word.

Ever.

Holy Saturday, Wholly Fun

Alright, so...after boiling 252 (yes, we counted) eggs, we embarked on a day of fun. We invited the campus for an afternoon of egg dyeing and other easter crafts. And true to the saying, if you build it, they will come! The weather was beautiful, and the kids were in great spirits-- though some of them were rather unsure about what we were doing, claiming they had never had the opportunity to dye eggs before. (Hmmmph... I'll fix that!) Our resident drummers, namely a couple of religious life volunteers, started with a couple of drums just playing around to see what beat would emerge. And they grooved for a while. And the egg dyers grooved for a while. And the tissue paper cross makers grooved for a while. And one person, wanting to share with the others, would move away and go try another activity. In some way, I think everyone was involved in everyhthing (except me who has no rhythm, and thus didn't participate in the drumming).
It was a glorious afternoon! If you see a few sunburned faces, I bet you can guess what they were doing.
I wonder what church leaders would think of having so much fun right in the middle of the darkest days of the whole Christian year. After all, even the high leaders of Catholocism asked us not to celebrate St. Pat's day during HOly Week, because we were supposed to be in somber reflection. And yet, I can't help but think that God was smiling down-- seeing all the fun had, and watching the celebrate the grace of the afternoon.

Costly

From a sermon I will preach tomorrow, from the eyes of the Sinful woman who anoints Jesus.

John 12
Anointing His Feet
1-3Six days before Passover, Jesus entered Bethany where Lazarus, so recently raised from the dead, was living. Lazarus and his sisters invited Jesus to dinner at their home. Martha served. Lazarus was one of those sitting at the table with them. Mary came in with a jar of very expensive aromatic oils, anointed and massaged Jesus' feet, and then wiped them with her hair. The fragrance of the oils filled the house.
4-6Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples, even then getting ready to betray him, said, "Why wasn't this oil sold and the money given to the poor? It would have easily brought three hundred silver pieces." He said this not because he cared two cents about the poor but because he was a thief. He was in charge of their common funds, but also embezzled them.

7-8Jesus said, "Let her alone. She's anticipating and honoring the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you. You don't always have me."




My God, how I loved him! How he changed my life! My God, my God... why have you forsaken ME?

I'm the same Mary who should have been helping my sister in the kitchen when Jesus came, but I couldn't help it. I meant to help, but I got distracted. I wanted to help, but more than that I wanted to sit and listen and be close to Jesus. I wanted to be so close that I could sit there and feel his heartbeat... the heartbeat of the king.

And I was there when Jesus raised my brother from the dead.

And I was there as plans were made to betray him. A betrayal that would surely lead to his death, a betrayal by one of his own. And all the betrayer could do was piously talk about how much money I was wasting, and how all that money should have gone to the poor. The betrayer, who could only worry about money, because that was what was real to him, because that's what consumed his life.

That day was a costly day.

They were burial spices, I know. And I know they were expensive, but something compelled me, drove me to do it. I loved him so much. I just wanted to worship, with all that I had. I'm sure Martha will fuss, she isn't much given over to emotion I guess. She's very sensible, and she will tell me what an unsensable thing I did.

I could say that I wasn't thinking clearly at the time, but the problem is, I've never been more clear headed in my life. Jesus loved people so fully, so forgivingly, so extravagantly. He loved me, and Lazarus, and even Martha, but how many others' lives did he change?

But you know, Jesus was a radical. He ate with people that society said he should never eat with. He told a woman living in sin that her sins were forgiven. He healed on the sabbath.

And too, I think, he loved radically. Jesus wasn't much for condemning people, except for ones who ran around talking about how good they are, and the ones who run around talking about how everyone else is a sinner. Jesus had a way of meeting the lost and the lonely, and meeting them where they are. He had a way of bringing them into the fullness of life.

"The Fullness of Life?" It was full, until the betrayer sold his soul, and the soul of Jesus, for a few coins.

They'll tell me it was costly, what I did that day. They'll tell me that my decision cost a working man's yearly wage... and all for what, to annoint the feet of someone who was soon to die?

But what of this "costlyness"? What was costly was the way Jesus loved. I don't know many people who would die to save someone he loved dearly. I know of even fewer who would die to save those he didn't know. And I can't think of anyone who would give up his life to save rapists, and murderers, and adulterers, and blasphemers, and idolators.

And Jesus did. Jesus died, so that even women, and even men, and even children, and even teachers, and even preachers, and even mothers, and even fathers, and even lawyers and even doctors, and even sinners, and even me... might live.

That's what is costly. A few coins spent, a few coins traded. A loved lived extravagantly.

And it was costly.

On Submission

All apologies for the lack of blogging in the last two weeks-- I've had some problems with the Blogger server (but it looks like it is going to let me today???) Instead of trying to back post for the last two weeks, I'm going to start where I should be in my Lenten journey.
On Submission:
One of my themes this week is Submission: the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way. I hate to admit it, but my only-child-ness comes out much more than I would like for it to. As my husband points out, I've grown up getting my own way without really having to compromise. Foster says "THe real issue of submission is the spirit of consideration and respect we have for each other...In submission we are at least free to value other people. Their dreams and plans become important to us. We have entered into a new, wonderful, glorious freedom--the freedom to give up our own rights for the good of others. For the first time we can love people unconditionally."
He goes on to list the seven acts of submission:
1. To the Triune God--surrendering our body, mind, and spirit into the hands of God to do with us as he pleases through the long darkness.
2. TO the Scripture Yielding ourselves first to hear the Word, second to receive the Word, and third to obey the Word.
3. To our Family The mantra for the household should be "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but to the intersts of others." (Phi 2:4)
4. To our neighbors and those we meet in the course of our daily lives. If we find them in need, we help them through simple acts of neighborliness. (E.g. sharing food, babysitting once in a while. No task is too small, for each is an opportunity to live into the spirit of submissiveness.)
5. To the believing community, the body of Christ. If there are jobs to be done and tasks to be accomplished, we look at them closely and see if they are God's invitation to live in the spirit of submission to others.
6. To the broken and despised. Finding genuine ways to identify with the lonely, the downtrodden, and the rejected.
7. To the world. A determination on our part to live as a responsible member of an increasingly irresponsible world.

As I look at these, I can pick out which ones I'd especially like to do because they come the easiest to me. Yet I know that the ones that make me uncomfortable are the ones to which I am called to spend the greatest energy.

(If you are confused, I'd invite you to read Foster's chapter on Submission. Biblical submission is much different than what society has contorted it into.)

Standing in the presence of greatness, Standing in the presence of evil

I've been in Washington D.C. for a day or two, as a very quick, very needed mini-vacation. Both my parents and my husband have been before, and everything I marveled at, they had probably already seen. But, I walked on--many miles--in amazement of the things I've seen
Our first stop of the trip was at Arlington Cemetery. I knew it would be a powerful experience, but I was caught off guard by how I felt seeing so many crosses. Row after row, in any direction you looked, for what seemed like miles. So many people who willingly offered up their very lives to be of service to their country. So many people who made a tough choice, and overlooked the possible consequences, and did what they believed was right. In keeping with my week's theme of prayer and meditation, I did "flash" prayers those who had served. Every time I walked past a grave, I thanked God for that person's service. You can imagine with all those graves that I was walking past that my conversation with God was pretty long. And yet, I felt was it was like to be in a constant state of prayer, even while I was engaged in other things. Once I got into a rhythm it was much easier than I thought to go right back to where I left off.
Later in the day, we went to the Holocaust museum. Again I knew this would be a very powerful experience, and again was unprepared for just how moving it would be. As I walked through, and saw, really saw all the destruction, I was overcome. Standing there and looking at the billions of pairs of shoes and the personal items like hairbrushes of the victims... wow. And then I walked through an area where they had walls of artwork from children of the Holocaust. Again, wow. And then my dad reminded me of what I had forgotten, the Hebrew word for "Holocaust" means "Burnt offering." How are there even words to reconcile that?
Again, I tried to remain in a constant state of prayer and put these things before God. And as I offered up my feelings to God, I was surprised to find myself angrier and angrier. (I guess I imagined myself being more and more peaceful with all this praying I was doing...hmmm!) But, I prayed for all those whose lives had been lost, and for all those who worked to make a difference. And I prayed for all the ways that we still find to hurt each other, and prayed for the courage to work for true peace.
I think it's funny that my themes for this week were Prayer and Meditation. God has a funny way of putting things right in your way at just the right time. For sure, what a place to be pondering those topics.

Pondering Valentine's Day

I know, I know...usually when a holiday is coming up, you hear me say how much I love it. However, I've never really been a fan of Valentine's Day. I liked the parties in Elementary School. To an extent I liked picking out Valentines for my friends, but every year as teachers and parents alike reminded us that we needed to send a Valentine to everyone, not just our friends , my enthusiasm would wane.
And then as I got older, it seemed that Valentine's Day was not a day to celebrate love so much as it was a day to make sure that you had a boyfriend. And then as I got older still, there wasn't so much pressure to get a boyfriend by Valentine's Day, but anyone (especially girls) who happened to be single went into a very definite angsty time.
And now here I am, celebrating my first married Valentine's day, and still rolling my eyes at the mushy "Hallmark" sentimentality that is so prevalent right now. Really, I've tried several times to scratch V-day off my Calendar...but it seems to pop up anyway. To make a peace with this day, I've finally decided to spend the day appreciating all those whom I treasure.
While we were in the Girls' groups the other night, our warm up question was "Talk about a time when you felt loved-- NOT the romantic kind of love". It was interesting to see the girls ponder this. Many of them, especially the slightly older ones, could have easily spouted off a time when this boyfriend or that had done something mushy. But to think about love outside those parameters was difficult.
But as I pondered the question, I became deeply grateful for all the different ways people have loved me through the years: flowers from a friend after passing a huge exam, prayers when I was sick or stressed or grieving, a small hug or a random card that seemed to show up just when I needed it. Even the "lunch kidnappings" that have happened when a dear friend takes one look at me and says, "Ok, You need to get out of here. We'll talk about it over lunch" There have been so many ways that people have loved on me throughout the years. And I can't help but think that this is what Valentine's Day is really about. I don't so much think it's about the mushy kissy-kissy stuff as it is about loving and appreciating all the people that take a small amount of time out of their lives to make a difference in somebody else's life.

"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age."
-Anais Nin

Learning to Pray

The other half of this week's Lenten discipline is Prayer. That's a deceptively hard thing for me I think. It seems it should be easy. I'm a preacher...we pray. But, prayer is something I have always struggled with. I'm in and out of prayer all day long, and sort of pray for people as I see them. And I'm always talking to God--it's kind of one long conversation all day. (If I ever appear to be talking to myself...I might be talking to God...or I might really be talking to myself.) But as I think about praying to change situations, I get a little nervous. Somewhere long ago, I heard that you don't pray to change situations, you pray to change yourself. That I get. And I've been changed lots through prayer. But somewhere, too, that is deeply rooted within me. I'm not sure that I'd openly admit this, but as I think about it more and more, I wonder if I believe that maybe God already has a plan for a given situation, no matter how hard I pray.
As I went into the chapter on prayer, all of that was in the back of my mind, I guess I was a little hesitant. I've happily given the excuse all my life that praying is a spiritual gift--one that many people have, but maybe I don't. But as I was reading, Foster mentioned something that I hadn't thought about before: "Real prayer is something we learn" The thought that Jesus' disicples said to Jesus "Lord, teach us to pray" never entered my mind. Another thing that he points out is that neither Jesus nor the disciples ever pray and conclude with "If it be thy will". I'm not sure where I've learned to conclude that way-- maybe I just don't want to step on God's toes-- but it seems that both Jesus and the disciples were so sure that they knew God's will before they prayed that they didn't have to pray in that way.
As I think about this, I wonder if perhaps that's why these two disciplines (Prayer and meditation) go together. If meditation is the intentional seeking of communion with God, and if that communion is found, then it might make sense that one would know of GOd's will in such a confident manner. If we are in constant communion with God, then perhaps there is no room for tentative "If it be thy will" prayers.
So, and I am praying and meditating this week, I am asking to be given both the grace to meditate and the knowledge to know how to pray. I expected to be able to jump right into those things, but maybe being in prayer about the things to come is a good start.

Meditation, smeditation...

So after boldly announcing that I was planning on trying out a different spiritual discipline per week throughout lent, I was less than excited to see that my first task was meditation. But, I've been doing yoga for years, and I figured that should help my wandering mind some. I've never really done what I now realize is "Eastern Meditiation", where you try to detach your mind from everything and seek emptiness. I've never had the attention span for that.
However, as I opened up my "Celebration of Discipline" (my guidebook for the next six weeks) I realized that I was quite mistaken about what it was that I would be doing this week.
Christian meditation has a very different goal than the other sort I mentioned. Instead of seeking an empty mind, the purpose here is to seek a full mind. Foster says, "Christian meditation, very simply, is the ability to hear God's voice and obey his word." He then goes on to talk about how originally Adam and Eve were in communion with God. But after the fall and the subsequent curse, Adam and Eve felt they had to hide from God, and thus the ultimate communion was destroyed. Christian meditation, simply put, is intentionally seeking out communion with God.
Foster suggests picking a passage of scripture and spending a whole week pondering, and dissecting, and ingesting the passage. He does, however, also suggest putting current events before God and asking for the wisdom to interpret those events.
While I spent some time trying to meditate yesterday morning, I found a much more helpful experience last night during chapel. A friend of the chapel who comes about once a month to sing and play came to bless us with her music last night. Our normally rowdy services are usually much quieter when she comes, and true to form, once she started playing, The Holy crept in a little further. I was sitting in the front, so I turned to spend some time just watching the kids worship. As Lisa was playing, suddenly I could just see the things that these kids were carrying around. That became a meditation time for me as I looked from one kid to the next.
I'm not sure how I'll do with meditating on the scriptures, though I will certainly keep on going. I am, however, thinking that as a part of my morning time with God, I'm going to start going down the placement sheet one name at a time, praying for the kids. I've always prayed for them--especially the ones that have come to share joys and concerns, and I always hold those in my heart, but I think this more organized type of prayer may prove to be an especially helpful spiritual discipline to me.
I had great intentions of getting up this morning, and being in the chapel this morning, even before the sun woke up. I was going to do this mediation thing-- and do it right...and then I was going to go for a Prayer Walk. But after a night of coughing and a yipping dog, it just didn't happen like I thought. Perhaps one of the biggest challenges in this Lenten observance thing is carving out a chunk of time and sticking to it, instead of trying to cram it into whatever space I have. My hope is to make it a priority, not something I do with my leftover energy.

A foot in Celebration mode and a foot in Lent

Can I tell you how excited I am about our Fat Tuesday celebration tomorrow?? Ok, I'm way excited! Not only do I love a good party, but I love the idea of lots of us (I'm hoping there are lots of us-- with plenty interdepartmental mingling!)coming together. Pancakes, beads, games...I'm just way excited.

But as I sit here working on the Ash Wednesday services, I guess I already have at least one foot in Lent. (Such is the contradiction of being a preacher, I guess.) I've been wondering and pondering if I would do anything to observe Lent this year. Some years I fast various things, some years I try to add things to my already crazy life. This year, I think I'm going to do something that I've never done. I think I am going to conscientiously practice the "Spiritual Disciplines". I read RIchard Foster's Celebration of Discipline years ago, and I think I am going to reread it. THey way he has the disciplines grouped, there are seven. I am going to take a grouping each week and see how I can live into it, and look for the ways that God speaks through these. And fittingly, the last discipline is CELEBRATION, so the week following Easter will be a good time to explore the ramifications of that for my life.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, I am inviting you on the journey with me. I am hoping to be able to blog several times a week, with a focus on that journey (though I am sure there will be other things mixed in there.)

Want to know more about the classic "Spiritual Disciplines"? Check out Foster's Celebration of Discipline (which you can either get from COkesbury on Lawrenceville Hwy or from the Columbia Seminary bookstore-- if you want to go to Columbia, shoot me an email and I will tell you how to find it and what their hours are.) Another good resource is http://www.watersedge.tv/disciplines_intro.htm Though this website is great, it groups things slightly differently than does Foster.

Additionally, come check out the Ash Wednesday service in the chapel at 1030 this Wednesday. I'll have a handout which simplifies things a bit. If you're still thinking and praying about how or whether you want to observe Lent, this might be something to think about. You don't have to do all of them-- you could pick one, find out more about it, and follow it through Lent. I know time is scarce, but I invite you to think about keeping a Lenten journal. Perhaps God is trying to speak, but there is so much noise all around that you haven't been able to hear. Just a thought.

Rock da house with Mardi Gras celebration...

I'm always up for a celebration! And fittingly your friendly Religious Life department is hosting a pancake lunch to celebrate Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras). Check your email and fliers which will be posted all over the place for more details.

But here's the kick: What fun would a shindig like this be without a competition or two. Not wanting to let you down, here goes!

I need you (yes, you!) to tell me EITHER 1) Why you have the most reason to celebrate. (E.g. I have made it through three months of marriage, and most days we still like each other!) or 2) Why you have the greatest need to have a celebration. (E.g. I have a new puppy and she whines all night so I don't get much sleep.) Respond to this blog--but make sure you include your name! Or shoot me an email! Or stick a note in my box or under my door! Just be a part of the fun. This is a fun thing, so be as creative as you can. Things can either be about work or your personal life-- they just have to be true. I can't tell you what the prize is, but trust me, you want to do this. The winner and his/her prize will be invovled in the feast on Tuesday.

DEADLINE for entries: Monday, February 4 by Noon!

The Home Pole

For some unknown reason, the story of the prodigal son has been on my brain lately. There are many things that I love about this story: being allowed back when you've been anything but a son or daughter, the way the dad runs to welcome the "lost" one. But perhaps one of my favorite things is the idea that home is a place that the world doesn't get to take away from you.

But for us who work at the children's home, we know that's not really true. All of our kids, either the ones in group care or the ones in foster care, are here because home was taken away from them. And for those of us who work here, we spend our time trying to make sure that come what may, these kids have a home.

And though they hate it, and they will boldly proclaim that this is NOT their home, it is home for a while.

So, last night, with our two groups of young ladies, we started what we home will become a part of the way we welcome kids into our care: a home pole. It's not a fancy thing-- basically it is a 4x4 outside the side door of the chapel. But our hope is that every kid who comes through here will tie a ribbon onto that pole, in effect saying "I was here. I mattered. This is home for as long as it needs to be home. I have a place to plant my feet, even though it feels like my world has been dumped on it's head."

Come check it out. On those days when you need a reminder of why you do what you do, come be near the "home pole." Put your hands on it. Feel the ribbons. Pray for all those who have come through our doors, and all those who will come. Pray that though this isn't the home they left, that it is a safe and welcoming place for all who enter here.

1 or 2 words

I used to consider myself a reasonably intelligent person-- I used to have deep theological conversations and think brilliant (er...uh...maybe not brilliant exactly) thoughts. But as I have listened to myself these last few days, I realized my brain has apparently been vaccuumed out. Lately, I've sounded like this: "Good girl, Bella!" "Good potty, Bella!" "No, no... Bella! Bad Dog!", "No, Bella... we don't eat the cat!" "Bella, Please don't drag my broom across the house!" You get the idea.

My husband and I had one of my seminary friends over last night (one of those people with whom I used to have intelligent conversations...) and the friend pointed out something that maybe would help us out in the puppy department. He said that *smart* dogs had *maybe* thirty commands they could learn for a lifetime. He went on to tell us how to keep our commands short and too the point, or else the dog wouldn't hear anything at all. Thus my "Bella, we don't eat the cat" was probably rendered in her ears as "Bella...cat". In her mind, probably an introduction.

I've been pondering this. I'm (obviously) a wordy person, so I feel like the more words I can use, the better. I probably do this not only with puppies, but probably in the rest of my life as well. What if (and this may not be far from the truth...) people that we talk to only heard one or two words. Perhaps this is really about keeping "the main thing the main thing." We prattle on, but sometimes I wonder if we're really saying the things we need to say.

If you had to hook someone on Christ, just this fast, what would you say? I don't have an answer yet, but it's worth thinking about.

Funny Face Tissues

Alright, it's a grey yucky day, and it seems my mood matches the weather. But some nameless minister of religious life thought I needed these funny face tissues, and they make me hoot out loud every time I see them. This entry is a little purposeless, but I hope my tissues make you smile. If you need a pick me up, you're welcome to stop by my office and have a funny face tissue.

"Piece People"

We did a marvelous activity in our girls' mid week youth groups last night-- we made "piece people". Here's how it works: there are four sections, each corresponding to a section of the body (e.g. head and neck, shoulders to waist, etc). We let one or two people at a time work on the sections--but here's the trick-- no one got to see what other people had done, until the whole person was done. Thus you wound up with some really funny looking people. I guess that's what happens when you don't have a master plan.
Also last night, I was having a conversation with a friend who has just had a baby. We were all ooohing and aaahing over her little one and she said, "Looking at him, I just can't believe more things don't go wrong. I can't believe babies aren't born with six arms or three eyes." We laughed, and then someone else said "We call that God".
It was funny, but I've been thinking about the conversation. Have you ever thought about it, really? I mean how intricate we humans are. How each system works in just a certain way. Think about it-- we were given eyelashes and nose hairs to keep the dust out of places we don't want it. Or if we get an infection, there's a certain group of cells whose only job it is to attack and destroy the infection.
Can you imagine what an intimately involved God we have? A God who is so closely involved with us that all these things were thought up. We are not a haphazard people. We have been so carefully created and designed. We are not a piece people!
In your darkest days, if you ever wonder if there's a God-- look at a picture of the stripes of a zebra. Or look at the night sky. Or look at your friend.

(If you're dying to see the piece people, come to the upstairs hallway--near my office)

The generation gap

I had an eye opening experience at chapel last night, when we were doing an MLK-themed service. We did several things, including compiling a "collective biography" and reading one of his sermons. And then, knowing that they had been to the King Center earlier in the day, I asked the kids about their reflections of the weekend and the trip. I wanted to know what their "A-ha's" were. And sadly, there were none. Not a single youth volunteered anything about their experience. And when I pressed them further, still nothing. Well, that's not true-- I got the impression that they thought the weekend and the trip to the MLK center were a waste of time. It seems they believed that none of this really affected their worlds at all. I was flaberghasted. I'm not that old, but I remember going to the King Center as a kid and marveling at this man's vision of peace. Somewhere--probably in sunday school or something-- I had recently heard the verse "The lion and the lamb shall lie down together, and they shall not war anymore." And to me, MLK was living into that vision in a way that it had never struck me as possible.

I think what I realized last night was the urgency of our (yes, those unfortunate ones they call adults) mission. It's our job to help bridge the disconnecting gap. It's our job to help them realize their place in moving the country forward, not only in matters of race, but in matters of the welfare of society in general. It's our job to remind them of the struggles fought and the battles won, for if they let it stop with them, all of MLK's work would be in vain. It's our job to bridge the gap between the generations who remember the events and the generations who read about them, at best.

Tracks in the snow?

I love snow! Thus you can imagine how excited I was when it actually snowed here yesterday. Me and the husband and the pets all loaded up and went to look around UMCH-- figuring all would be beautiful, and the sounds of kids playing in the snow would be heard. But when we got here...it was indeed beautiful, but there were no sounds of playing children--anywhere. And the more I looked around, the more I realized that there were no tracks anywhere on campus. It appears that either no one had ventured out or that the tracks had all been covered. And some part of me was sad. Somewhere in my head, some very childish voice said "Where's the playtime?" As I tried to shhh the voice with excuses like "Oh the kids are probably still in bed" or "maybe they don't want to be cold", I realized that it was something deeper than that. We live in a society that tells us to work harder and harder and harder, and that playtime is for children. We tell ourselves that we'll play when we finally get caught up, but as a perenial do-er, I've realized that the blessed "caught up ness" never comes.
And some part of me thinks that God frowns when he gives us a beautiful day and no one is out enjoying it. The catechism that I learned as a kid starts off with this question, "What is man's chief end?" And answers, "Man's chief end is to glorify God and ENJOY him forever."
If you'll excuse me-- I'm off to enjoy God's creation. I'm headed out into the freezing cold, and I'm going to have a little holy play time before chapel. Please don't laugh if you see me giggling on the swingset.

SWOT

Alright, I have to admit that when I heard we were having a strategic planning process and that I had to give up a large chunk of precious time, I wasn't all that thrilled. However, yesterday turned out to be a really eye opening experience for me-- and eye opening in a good way. We had a lovely gentleman come and guide us through a process whereby the people in the room would be able to identify UMCH's Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. (SWOT) This might be a little hard to envision, but we were asked as teams to identify things in the areas listed above, and then prioritize them in a process where everyone was given five color coded different point dots.

The first thing I noticed is that we had a HUGE list of non-duplicated stregths, the five greatest of which were 1. That we as an agency treat the child or client in a holistic fashion that includes mental, spiritual, emotional, etc tactics. 2. That we have very strong ties to the larger UMC 3. That we provide broad continuum of services. 4. That we have a historic foundation with a mind to forward thinking. 5. That we see all persons through the eyes of Christ.

The next thing I noticed was that with such a huge list of strengths, I ran out of dots for things I really wanted to emphasize as a strength. I had five dots! Perhaps in working some other place, I might not have run out of dots. It was really refreshing to see all these strengths listed like this, and thus be reminded of what we are doing really well.

And here's my thought-- we likeley wouldn't be doing so well if we weren't an agency full of passionate people. Now that is a gift from God!

A Prayer for the Meetingly Bombarded

God,
As I look at the calendar for the weeks ahead, I see that I have more meetings than it seems there are hours in the day. May you be present in these meetings, and may they accomplish your work. May you be present in my attitude as well--remind me that these meetings aren't just one more thing to add to my calendar, but that they are the way that we get things done. Be in my preparation times. And be in my down times too-- that when they happen upon me, I may find myself fully present and able to relax into the moments.
Amen

Marching in the LIght of God

I think I've mentioned this fact before, but I like church holidays. And today is another holiday I GET to talk about. It's Epiphany! A holy day in the church (which if I were in a different place, would involve wearing a white stole and all the church paraments would be white). Ephiphany comes from the greek word "epiphanai" which literally means an appearance or manifestation. And it is the actual 12th day of Christmas (think-- Christmas song that everyone sings but no one really knows all the words to...). But all that gibberish is to say that today is the day when Christians celebrate the light of Christ being in the world.

If you did Sunday school as a kid, maybe the term "Epiphany" sounds familiar to you-- but if you can't quite remember anything about it, let me help you out. Some verses you might have heard in conjunction with this day are "Arise, Shine! For your light has come and the glory of the Lord rises upon you!" or perhaps "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light." But here's what you may not think about: that cute little story in Matthew about the wise men following the star really seems to be more fittingly celebrated at Epiphany.

Lately, the song "We are marching in the light of God" (which I learned while I was in Africa) has been rolling around in my head. The words, simply enough, say "We are marching in the light of God! We are marching in the light of God! We are marching, we are marching-- We are marching in the light of God!" I was thinking about these wise men, and how they really were marching in the light of God.

I mean seriously, they were called out of their comfort zones. I don't know much about the job description of a "wise man", but I would imagine it to be a somewhat "cushy" job (relative to herding sheep or things like that.) I'd imagine that being a wise man didn't usually entail being uprooted and having to travel a long way for a glorified baby shower. But this star, which they are certain is of God, urges them forward-- down an unknown and perhaps dangerous path. They, like the rest of us would, probably have very great questions like "Where am I going?" "How will I get there?"

As I think about them, I wonder which new and different journeys God might be calling me to. I wonder where God sees my resistance, and is calling me to follow his light, trusting it to lead me into the things I have been created to do. I wonder what routines and creature comforts I would have to be willing to forgo to follow God's call. And I wonder who else is asking these same questions-- are you?

Some days, I think my song would better be "I am stumbling towards the light of God" but I trust that God will give me a star to follow-- and the courage to follow it.