I've been in Washington D.C. for a day or two, as a very quick, very needed mini-vacation. Both my parents and my husband have been before, and everything I marveled at, they had probably already seen. But, I walked on--many miles--in amazement of the things I've seen
Our first stop of the trip was at Arlington Cemetery. I knew it would be a powerful experience, but I was caught off guard by how I felt seeing so many crosses. Row after row, in any direction you looked, for what seemed like miles. So many people who willingly offered up their very lives to be of service to their country. So many people who made a tough choice, and overlooked the possible consequences, and did what they believed was right. In keeping with my week's theme of prayer and meditation, I did "flash" prayers those who had served. Every time I walked past a grave, I thanked God for that person's service. You can imagine with all those graves that I was walking past that my conversation with God was pretty long. And yet, I felt was it was like to be in a constant state of prayer, even while I was engaged in other things. Once I got into a rhythm it was much easier than I thought to go right back to where I left off.
Later in the day, we went to the Holocaust museum. Again I knew this would be a very powerful experience, and again was unprepared for just how moving it would be. As I walked through, and saw, really saw all the destruction, I was overcome. Standing there and looking at the billions of pairs of shoes and the personal items like hairbrushes of the victims... wow. And then I walked through an area where they had walls of artwork from children of the Holocaust. Again, wow. And then my dad reminded me of what I had forgotten, the Hebrew word for "Holocaust" means "Burnt offering." How are there even words to reconcile that?
Again, I tried to remain in a constant state of prayer and put these things before God. And as I offered up my feelings to God, I was surprised to find myself angrier and angrier. (I guess I imagined myself being more and more peaceful with all this praying I was doing...hmmm!) But, I prayed for all those whose lives had been lost, and for all those who worked to make a difference. And I prayed for all the ways that we still find to hurt each other, and prayed for the courage to work for true peace.
I think it's funny that my themes for this week were Prayer and Meditation. God has a funny way of putting things right in your way at just the right time. For sure, what a place to be pondering those topics.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Pondering Valentine's Day
I know, I know...usually when a holiday is coming up, you hear me say how much I love it. However, I've never really been a fan of Valentine's Day. I liked the parties in Elementary School. To an extent I liked picking out Valentines for my friends, but every year as teachers and parents alike reminded us that we needed to send a Valentine to everyone, not just our friends , my enthusiasm would wane.
And then as I got older, it seemed that Valentine's Day was not a day to celebrate love so much as it was a day to make sure that you had a boyfriend. And then as I got older still, there wasn't so much pressure to get a boyfriend by Valentine's Day, but anyone (especially girls) who happened to be single went into a very definite angsty time.
And now here I am, celebrating my first married Valentine's day, and still rolling my eyes at the mushy "Hallmark" sentimentality that is so prevalent right now. Really, I've tried several times to scratch V-day off my Calendar...but it seems to pop up anyway. To make a peace with this day, I've finally decided to spend the day appreciating all those whom I treasure.
While we were in the Girls' groups the other night, our warm up question was "Talk about a time when you felt loved-- NOT the romantic kind of love". It was interesting to see the girls ponder this. Many of them, especially the slightly older ones, could have easily spouted off a time when this boyfriend or that had done something mushy. But to think about love outside those parameters was difficult.
But as I pondered the question, I became deeply grateful for all the different ways people have loved me through the years: flowers from a friend after passing a huge exam, prayers when I was sick or stressed or grieving, a small hug or a random card that seemed to show up just when I needed it. Even the "lunch kidnappings" that have happened when a dear friend takes one look at me and says, "Ok, You need to get out of here. We'll talk about it over lunch" There have been so many ways that people have loved on me throughout the years. And I can't help but think that this is what Valentine's Day is really about. I don't so much think it's about the mushy kissy-kissy stuff as it is about loving and appreciating all the people that take a small amount of time out of their lives to make a difference in somebody else's life.
"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age."
-Anais Nin
And then as I got older, it seemed that Valentine's Day was not a day to celebrate love so much as it was a day to make sure that you had a boyfriend. And then as I got older still, there wasn't so much pressure to get a boyfriend by Valentine's Day, but anyone (especially girls) who happened to be single went into a very definite angsty time.
And now here I am, celebrating my first married Valentine's day, and still rolling my eyes at the mushy "Hallmark" sentimentality that is so prevalent right now. Really, I've tried several times to scratch V-day off my Calendar...but it seems to pop up anyway. To make a peace with this day, I've finally decided to spend the day appreciating all those whom I treasure.
While we were in the Girls' groups the other night, our warm up question was "Talk about a time when you felt loved-- NOT the romantic kind of love". It was interesting to see the girls ponder this. Many of them, especially the slightly older ones, could have easily spouted off a time when this boyfriend or that had done something mushy. But to think about love outside those parameters was difficult.
But as I pondered the question, I became deeply grateful for all the different ways people have loved me through the years: flowers from a friend after passing a huge exam, prayers when I was sick or stressed or grieving, a small hug or a random card that seemed to show up just when I needed it. Even the "lunch kidnappings" that have happened when a dear friend takes one look at me and says, "Ok, You need to get out of here. We'll talk about it over lunch" There have been so many ways that people have loved on me throughout the years. And I can't help but think that this is what Valentine's Day is really about. I don't so much think it's about the mushy kissy-kissy stuff as it is about loving and appreciating all the people that take a small amount of time out of their lives to make a difference in somebody else's life.
"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age."
-Anais Nin
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Learning to Pray
The other half of this week's Lenten discipline is Prayer. That's a deceptively hard thing for me I think. It seems it should be easy. I'm a preacher...we pray. But, prayer is something I have always struggled with. I'm in and out of prayer all day long, and sort of pray for people as I see them. And I'm always talking to God--it's kind of one long conversation all day. (If I ever appear to be talking to myself...I might be talking to God...or I might really be talking to myself.) But as I think about praying to change situations, I get a little nervous. Somewhere long ago, I heard that you don't pray to change situations, you pray to change yourself. That I get. And I've been changed lots through prayer. But somewhere, too, that is deeply rooted within me. I'm not sure that I'd openly admit this, but as I think about it more and more, I wonder if I believe that maybe God already has a plan for a given situation, no matter how hard I pray.
As I went into the chapter on prayer, all of that was in the back of my mind, I guess I was a little hesitant. I've happily given the excuse all my life that praying is a spiritual gift--one that many people have, but maybe I don't. But as I was reading, Foster mentioned something that I hadn't thought about before: "Real prayer is something we learn" The thought that Jesus' disicples said to Jesus "Lord, teach us to pray" never entered my mind. Another thing that he points out is that neither Jesus nor the disciples ever pray and conclude with "If it be thy will". I'm not sure where I've learned to conclude that way-- maybe I just don't want to step on God's toes-- but it seems that both Jesus and the disciples were so sure that they knew God's will before they prayed that they didn't have to pray in that way.
As I think about this, I wonder if perhaps that's why these two disciplines (Prayer and meditation) go together. If meditation is the intentional seeking of communion with God, and if that communion is found, then it might make sense that one would know of GOd's will in such a confident manner. If we are in constant communion with God, then perhaps there is no room for tentative "If it be thy will" prayers.
So, and I am praying and meditating this week, I am asking to be given both the grace to meditate and the knowledge to know how to pray. I expected to be able to jump right into those things, but maybe being in prayer about the things to come is a good start.
As I went into the chapter on prayer, all of that was in the back of my mind, I guess I was a little hesitant. I've happily given the excuse all my life that praying is a spiritual gift--one that many people have, but maybe I don't. But as I was reading, Foster mentioned something that I hadn't thought about before: "Real prayer is something we learn" The thought that Jesus' disicples said to Jesus "Lord, teach us to pray" never entered my mind. Another thing that he points out is that neither Jesus nor the disciples ever pray and conclude with "If it be thy will". I'm not sure where I've learned to conclude that way-- maybe I just don't want to step on God's toes-- but it seems that both Jesus and the disciples were so sure that they knew God's will before they prayed that they didn't have to pray in that way.
As I think about this, I wonder if perhaps that's why these two disciplines (Prayer and meditation) go together. If meditation is the intentional seeking of communion with God, and if that communion is found, then it might make sense that one would know of GOd's will in such a confident manner. If we are in constant communion with God, then perhaps there is no room for tentative "If it be thy will" prayers.
So, and I am praying and meditating this week, I am asking to be given both the grace to meditate and the knowledge to know how to pray. I expected to be able to jump right into those things, but maybe being in prayer about the things to come is a good start.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Meditation, smeditation...
So after boldly announcing that I was planning on trying out a different spiritual discipline per week throughout lent, I was less than excited to see that my first task was meditation. But, I've been doing yoga for years, and I figured that should help my wandering mind some. I've never really done what I now realize is "Eastern Meditiation", where you try to detach your mind from everything and seek emptiness. I've never had the attention span for that.
However, as I opened up my "Celebration of Discipline" (my guidebook for the next six weeks) I realized that I was quite mistaken about what it was that I would be doing this week.
Christian meditation has a very different goal than the other sort I mentioned. Instead of seeking an empty mind, the purpose here is to seek a full mind. Foster says, "Christian meditation, very simply, is the ability to hear God's voice and obey his word." He then goes on to talk about how originally Adam and Eve were in communion with God. But after the fall and the subsequent curse, Adam and Eve felt they had to hide from God, and thus the ultimate communion was destroyed. Christian meditation, simply put, is intentionally seeking out communion with God.
Foster suggests picking a passage of scripture and spending a whole week pondering, and dissecting, and ingesting the passage. He does, however, also suggest putting current events before God and asking for the wisdom to interpret those events.
While I spent some time trying to meditate yesterday morning, I found a much more helpful experience last night during chapel. A friend of the chapel who comes about once a month to sing and play came to bless us with her music last night. Our normally rowdy services are usually much quieter when she comes, and true to form, once she started playing, The Holy crept in a little further. I was sitting in the front, so I turned to spend some time just watching the kids worship. As Lisa was playing, suddenly I could just see the things that these kids were carrying around. That became a meditation time for me as I looked from one kid to the next.
I'm not sure how I'll do with meditating on the scriptures, though I will certainly keep on going. I am, however, thinking that as a part of my morning time with God, I'm going to start going down the placement sheet one name at a time, praying for the kids. I've always prayed for them--especially the ones that have come to share joys and concerns, and I always hold those in my heart, but I think this more organized type of prayer may prove to be an especially helpful spiritual discipline to me.
I had great intentions of getting up this morning, and being in the chapel this morning, even before the sun woke up. I was going to do this mediation thing-- and do it right...and then I was going to go for a Prayer Walk. But after a night of coughing and a yipping dog, it just didn't happen like I thought. Perhaps one of the biggest challenges in this Lenten observance thing is carving out a chunk of time and sticking to it, instead of trying to cram it into whatever space I have. My hope is to make it a priority, not something I do with my leftover energy.
However, as I opened up my "Celebration of Discipline" (my guidebook for the next six weeks) I realized that I was quite mistaken about what it was that I would be doing this week.
Christian meditation has a very different goal than the other sort I mentioned. Instead of seeking an empty mind, the purpose here is to seek a full mind. Foster says, "Christian meditation, very simply, is the ability to hear God's voice and obey his word." He then goes on to talk about how originally Adam and Eve were in communion with God. But after the fall and the subsequent curse, Adam and Eve felt they had to hide from God, and thus the ultimate communion was destroyed. Christian meditation, simply put, is intentionally seeking out communion with God.
Foster suggests picking a passage of scripture and spending a whole week pondering, and dissecting, and ingesting the passage. He does, however, also suggest putting current events before God and asking for the wisdom to interpret those events.
While I spent some time trying to meditate yesterday morning, I found a much more helpful experience last night during chapel. A friend of the chapel who comes about once a month to sing and play came to bless us with her music last night. Our normally rowdy services are usually much quieter when she comes, and true to form, once she started playing, The Holy crept in a little further. I was sitting in the front, so I turned to spend some time just watching the kids worship. As Lisa was playing, suddenly I could just see the things that these kids were carrying around. That became a meditation time for me as I looked from one kid to the next.
I'm not sure how I'll do with meditating on the scriptures, though I will certainly keep on going. I am, however, thinking that as a part of my morning time with God, I'm going to start going down the placement sheet one name at a time, praying for the kids. I've always prayed for them--especially the ones that have come to share joys and concerns, and I always hold those in my heart, but I think this more organized type of prayer may prove to be an especially helpful spiritual discipline to me.
I had great intentions of getting up this morning, and being in the chapel this morning, even before the sun woke up. I was going to do this mediation thing-- and do it right...and then I was going to go for a Prayer Walk. But after a night of coughing and a yipping dog, it just didn't happen like I thought. Perhaps one of the biggest challenges in this Lenten observance thing is carving out a chunk of time and sticking to it, instead of trying to cram it into whatever space I have. My hope is to make it a priority, not something I do with my leftover energy.
Monday, February 4, 2008
A foot in Celebration mode and a foot in Lent
Can I tell you how excited I am about our Fat Tuesday celebration tomorrow?? Ok, I'm way excited! Not only do I love a good party, but I love the idea of lots of us (I'm hoping there are lots of us-- with plenty interdepartmental mingling!)coming together. Pancakes, beads, games...I'm just way excited.
But as I sit here working on the Ash Wednesday services, I guess I already have at least one foot in Lent. (Such is the contradiction of being a preacher, I guess.) I've been wondering and pondering if I would do anything to observe Lent this year. Some years I fast various things, some years I try to add things to my already crazy life. This year, I think I'm going to do something that I've never done. I think I am going to conscientiously practice the "Spiritual Disciplines". I read RIchard Foster's Celebration of Discipline years ago, and I think I am going to reread it. THey way he has the disciplines grouped, there are seven. I am going to take a grouping each week and see how I can live into it, and look for the ways that God speaks through these. And fittingly, the last discipline is CELEBRATION, so the week following Easter will be a good time to explore the ramifications of that for my life.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, I am inviting you on the journey with me. I am hoping to be able to blog several times a week, with a focus on that journey (though I am sure there will be other things mixed in there.)
Want to know more about the classic "Spiritual Disciplines"? Check out Foster's Celebration of Discipline (which you can either get from COkesbury on Lawrenceville Hwy or from the Columbia Seminary bookstore-- if you want to go to Columbia, shoot me an email and I will tell you how to find it and what their hours are.) Another good resource is http://www.watersedge.tv/disciplines_intro.htm Though this website is great, it groups things slightly differently than does Foster.
Additionally, come check out the Ash Wednesday service in the chapel at 1030 this Wednesday. I'll have a handout which simplifies things a bit. If you're still thinking and praying about how or whether you want to observe Lent, this might be something to think about. You don't have to do all of them-- you could pick one, find out more about it, and follow it through Lent. I know time is scarce, but I invite you to think about keeping a Lenten journal. Perhaps God is trying to speak, but there is so much noise all around that you haven't been able to hear. Just a thought.
But as I sit here working on the Ash Wednesday services, I guess I already have at least one foot in Lent. (Such is the contradiction of being a preacher, I guess.) I've been wondering and pondering if I would do anything to observe Lent this year. Some years I fast various things, some years I try to add things to my already crazy life. This year, I think I'm going to do something that I've never done. I think I am going to conscientiously practice the "Spiritual Disciplines". I read RIchard Foster's Celebration of Discipline years ago, and I think I am going to reread it. THey way he has the disciplines grouped, there are seven. I am going to take a grouping each week and see how I can live into it, and look for the ways that God speaks through these. And fittingly, the last discipline is CELEBRATION, so the week following Easter will be a good time to explore the ramifications of that for my life.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, I am inviting you on the journey with me. I am hoping to be able to blog several times a week, with a focus on that journey (though I am sure there will be other things mixed in there.)
Want to know more about the classic "Spiritual Disciplines"? Check out Foster's Celebration of Discipline (which you can either get from COkesbury on Lawrenceville Hwy or from the Columbia Seminary bookstore-- if you want to go to Columbia, shoot me an email and I will tell you how to find it and what their hours are.) Another good resource is http://www.watersedge.tv/disciplines_intro.htm Though this website is great, it groups things slightly differently than does Foster.
Additionally, come check out the Ash Wednesday service in the chapel at 1030 this Wednesday. I'll have a handout which simplifies things a bit. If you're still thinking and praying about how or whether you want to observe Lent, this might be something to think about. You don't have to do all of them-- you could pick one, find out more about it, and follow it through Lent. I know time is scarce, but I invite you to think about keeping a Lenten journal. Perhaps God is trying to speak, but there is so much noise all around that you haven't been able to hear. Just a thought.
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